The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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