Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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