hotel room ftw
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
