How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
