Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
