oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
