Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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