You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
