thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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