It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
