How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I checked into jail on foursquare
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
