i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
