you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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