I'm laying in your front yard are you home
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
