did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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