I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
