turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Randomize
