I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
