if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Randomize
