1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
