You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
