The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
