so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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