allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
