Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
