he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
