you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
