he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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