There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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