Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Shame is for Republicans.
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