ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
