What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
