Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
