should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
