people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
