Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
What drink are we having for lunch?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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