yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
