finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
