dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
