i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
