# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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