I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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