Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
