Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
