she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
