There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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