I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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