I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
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