Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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