yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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