omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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