So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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