sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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